Dr Gary Chapman has identified five different ways we show love and appreciation and feel rewarded. Holding and expressing appreciation is a common attribute that all successful people share.
1. Words: Some people respond best to positive words of appreciation. This means they actually prefer a card to a present. You can help these people feel loved and appreciated by sending them a card with beautiful words inside, a thank-you email, inspirational quotes, a poem or the words to an appropriate song.
2. Acts of Service: Some people prefer you to do things for them. At home this might include taking the garbage out or making dinner. At work, offering to make them a cup of coffee, pick up lunch or run errands will help these people feel appreciated.
3. Gifts: Some people do actually prefer to receive a present and they like it wrapped, even if it’s small.
4. Time: Spending quality time with some people is the main way they know they are appreciated and rewarded. At home, it could be as simple as watching a movie with them and being totally present when you do so. As a manager, this might include taking these members of your team out for coffee or lunch. This means a great deal to them, particularly if they know you are very busy and pressed for time. Giving them a voucher and the afternoon off also go a long way for people to feel rewarded and appreciated.
5. Physical Touch: Some people would rather have a pat on the shoulder or a hug, than receive an expensive gift. In the workplace, hugs may not be as appropriate, however for someone with this reward language, patting them on the shoulder for a job well done will encourage them to keep performing at their best.
The language we speak is the way we express love, and probably, the way we want love expressed to us. But more often than not, we married someone different than us, and they speak a different language.
So ask your loved ones about their favorite time someone showed them love or appreciation and listen carefully to their answer.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! xo